1. When placed in an adult bed, small children can only sleep horizontally, preferably with feet in one adult rib cage and head wedged in another, different adult ribcage. WHY? Are there magnets in their heads? Must they always point due North?
2. If placed in a room the size of a football field, a crawling baby or newly walking toddler will travel straight to the only electrical outlet in the room. Every time. Without fail. Again, is there a magnet involved?
3. Why is it only when served spaghetti with marinara sauce for dinner that toddlers contract stomach viruses around six to eight hours later, when I am dead asleep and the most ill-equipped to deal with challenging bedroom carpet stain removal?
4. Even at the age of nine months, a baby knows when she is not supposed to have the tiny object in her mouth, and she will smile sweetly (and with tight lips) at you when you suspect there is something in her mouth. Then she will go all steel cage death match on you if you try to remove it. Does she want to choke and die ingloriously on a Lego from her brother’s Hogwarts set?
5. When eating baby food or even finger food, babies will eat the most exotic of foodstuffs: beets, avocado, squash, spinach, capers, balsamic vinegar, kamut, kale, you name it. I am not even sure what kamut is, but my baby eats it out of a pouch marked “ORGANIC,” so it must be good for her. Yet the exact same baby after the age of 3 won’t come near anything that isn’t fried or a simple carbohydrate. My 5 year old recently declared he no longer likes bananas or peanut butter, two of his only reliable consumables. Do they just want to mess with my head?
What mystery of small children are you encountering or did you encounter?
In reference to number 3…why on EARTH do they sell red or blue pedialyte? I mean the purpose is for children with stomach viruses which means at least half the time its for a vomiting child. It should only be sold in clear form. No one wants to give a barfing 2 year old bright red liquid.
Giggling. So true. I would add why is it that while I have to wake my children up five days a week out of a sound sleep to go to school, they (almost) invariably bound out of bed raring to go on the weekends? xoxo
How come they only act like angels when no one else is watching!?
I wish, I had answers to those questions. I’ve had three kids myself and they did the same things. The food question does baffle me…
Hilarious. Good to know it’s not just my kid! xox
I really don’t understand why they hog the bed.
I also don’t get why they go for electrical outlets, remote controls and tissue paper.
I suspect we will NEVER know. 🙂