I turned 39 this summer. Thirty. Nine. It’s kind of a big deal, this whole aging thing, huh? Stuff’s gettin’ real here now. It’s now markedly harder to lose weight, my knees creak, and I’m a big old sissy about needing my sleep. Depressing.
Luckily, I’m not yet experiencing many of the symptoms of aging my friends have reported. I’ve yet to flash hot, to wake up sweating, or to suffer headaches of hormonal origin. But right around my birthday — seriously, within a week of turning 39 — I noticed something disturbing that no one had warned me about even once: I now have a mustache.
Except it’s not actually a mustache. It’s not hair. Instead, it seems like the pigment of my skin just above my upper lip but below my nose? It darkened. Like, overnight. So every morning when I go to brush my teeth, I look like I am rocking a mustache — but one I can’t get rid of by visiting the wax guru at my local salon.
A few friends have verified this mustache phenomenon as a soon-to-be 40 “thing.” Several others have looked at me blankly, with eyes that betray a certain incredulity as well as fear that it might come for them as well in the near future. I think a few friends might think I am naive and do not realize it’s actually hair and not my skin turning darker. But I am telling you, I have a mustache. It’s new. And it’s not hair.
I’ve never been either skilled enough nor motivated enough to be an expert at applying make-up, and I will admit that until the last several years, I rarely wore much make-up at all. I still can go days without putting it on, though that is quickly coming to an end with the end of my 30s. My point is, sometimes I forget that I am not wearing make-up, and I’ll glance in my bathroom mirror, and… OMG. Mustache! I have been walking around all day with a mustache! The horror.
This morning, I was trying to get out the door. I applied my foundation, and I noticed that I
could STILL SEE THAT MUSTACHE. The hell? I put on another layer. Still there. I powdered it a little. Still. There. It, like, mocks me, all ominous-like. You’re turning 40 soon, it says. Get ready! This is only the beginning. All day, I’ve had this self-conscious feeling: can everyone see it? Is there any make-up anywhere that could stop this madness?
I might as well write, “This is 39” across my upper lip. It might be more subtle.
As you know, you and I are the exact same age. So I’m glad I can look forward to adding The Mustache to the list of indignities that are now a part of my life. Sigh. Thank God we can go through it together, at least … xoxo
Yes. And thank God for Diet Coke! xoxo
I have actual hair there that used to NOT be there. And I will be 39 in March. “Pushing 40” seems almost worse than 40! ha! I think you look great. You have amazing cheek bones and your new photo is lovely! 😀
Thank you, Elaine! I have new hairs… on my chin. THAT’s attractive. But I have to argue with you, as I have never had a cheekbone to save my life — are you sure your eyes aren’t going? 😉
You know what’s awesome? When you turn 42 you start losing your vision and the ability to see anything close-up, so then you cannot even tell you are sporting a mustache. #silverlining And now at nearly 45, I probably have a unibrow..but again I cannot see the damn thing.
hahaha sooo funny, but true…. so sad….
but still very funny 🙂
Well, I already wear contacts, so I’m not sure how much worse I can get. Bifocals?
I turned 39 this summer too! I’ve started to get really sweaty at night… (So much so that my husband has started complaining about it.) Yikes! I hadn’t even thought it might be because I’m turning old! And I think I have the start of the Mustache too.
Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but I think the sweating is a reward of making it this far. I’m hot-natured to begin with and I hate being hot, so I am not looking forward to it all.
My current pet peeve about getting older? Getting wrinkles and zits at the same time. Seriously? That’s just cosmically unfair. It should be one or the other. I’ll be on the lookout for that skin ‘stache.
Oh, I know. I will say, the zits have calmed down lately. They crop up predictably once a month, but they are manageable. I think carrying extra weight helps with wrinkles. Maybe I can start a trend — stay pudgy, have less wrinkles! Think it might catch on?
I keep tweezers in my car at all times now!
I’m beginning to think that might be the way to go, along with a pound of foundation.
Hahaha, that was hilarious Allison! I had no idea about the Mustache thing, I wonder if I’ll get it, I will tell you in a year.
BTW your picture is great! And I see no mustache! 🙂
Thank you! Yes, please keep me posted on the status of your non-stache!
“Several others have looked at me blankly, with eyes that betray a certain incredulity as well as fear that it might come for them as well in the near future” – this is so funny and so true! It’s exactly what happens. A friend had age spots on her hands and had some kind of procedure to “blast” them off or fade them. I grabbed her hand to check it out closer and I’m sure I had that exact face you described. I’m 40 and will probably be spotting my age spots soon. Yikes.
At least we’re all in this together? Whenever someone tells me about a new aging symptom, I just think, ask not for whom the bell tolls…
I could take this in a crass direction and let the world know what my almost-40 tell is, but I’ll save it for our walk. 😉
Can’t wait. Actually, that’s a lie.
It’s probably melasma. Go to a dermatologist; he or she can prescribe something that has a good chance of lightening it. 🙂
Thank you, Cate! I was secretly hoping somebody would have actual knowledge of how to rid this thing. Making an appointment.
Nice headshot! I turned 39 over the summer too {gulp}. While I have no mustache, I’m getting these weird red splotches all over my torso. The doc says they are “probably hormonal, and perfectly normal for a woman my age.” I think it’s nature’s way of saying that no matter how much I try to whip my old body into shape, I’m too darn old to wear anything more revealing than a Mom-style bathing suit.
Really, I have come to not only embrace but actually dig the skirted tankini. It has done me well. No one really needs to see my lower abdomen area, including me.
While deep in contemplation about such things as quantum physics and why there is no joy and sunshine in the world of extra-wide women’s shoes, I often find myself stroking my ‘stash. Mine is of the furry kind. I’d consider getting it zapped off if I could find the time. I do think it really sets off my pink lipstick though. Yours is hormonal deposits in your skin layer. The darken w/sun exposure if I remember correctly. You could try a facial peel, just in time for Halloween. Go as a zombie. It should be all healed up quickly.
Ha, Renee! I do think it’s time for a visit to the dermatologist for me. I’m behind on doctor visits.
OMG you are freaking me out. I did not know about the mustache:(. I am over 40, and thankfully it hasn’t arrived yet! But like some of the commenters above – my eyes are going. I do need my reading glasses to pluck my eyebrows, so maybe the ‘stache is there, but I can’t see it. In this case, ignorance is most definitely bliss~!
Then my advice is, don’t get glasses! Trust me! They will only bum you out. But I guess aging is better than the alternative, right?
You still look stunning mustache here or there 😉
You are too kind! I swear I was not fishing for compliments, but I will take them anyway. :)Thank you!
LOVE the new headshot! And no . . . don’t see the stache! 😉
No, of course not — that’s the work of my photog! It is there, I’m telling you. But I’m too smart to let it appear in a headshot!