Taking back the holiday

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The only reason I turned on the oven today.

It’s the night before Thanksgiving, and today I did laundry, listened to the kids run in and out of the house while they played in the backyard and on the computers, made caramel apples with the kids, took the kids to see Rise of the Guardians with friends, and ate pizza at a local Italian restaurant as a family. Here’s what I did not do: go to the grocery store, bake anything, prep anything, or cook anything.

Most years, my husband and I have cooked for Thanksgiving. Last year, my brother and sister-in-law hosted and cooked, and we just brought desserts, and that was lovely. This year, only my parents and my family are eating together, and I just decided that cooking for four adults and three children with wildly varied palates and degrees of pickiness sounded like a whole lot of work with not much payoff. I immediately began thinking about the possibility of going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving instead.

At first, I was conflicted. I have had all kinds of Thanksgivings over the course of the years. I have spent the day with family; I have spent the day with friends; I have spent the day working as a CBS page at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade stationed right smack in Columbus Circle, freezing my little Florida native behind off for hours. But I do feel a certain pressure or obligation to create the holiday for my children now. There is something about a Thanksgiving dinner that makes home feel like home, after all. I want to create those food traditions — a menu the children can expect and remember. I want to be that mom. That is why I usually work for days in the kitchen, boiling and mashing potatoes and sweet potatoes and hoping my yeast rolls turn out and trying (and often failing) to find a perfect cranberry sauce recipe that is sweet enough without being too sweet. I want the children to know Thanksgivings at home, with rich smells coming from the kitchen and our family around the familiar table.

I do want to be that mom — just not this year. This year, I wanted to be the mom that wasn’t stressed out about Thanksgiving. I didn’t feel like juggling the food prep with a seven-month-old teething baby and the required refereeing of three boys out of school. This year, I wanted to stay in my pajamas and watch the parade on television, maybe nap with the baby, and take the kids on outings. I wanted to enjoy the almost perfect weather that we almost never have. This year, I needed a holiday. So this year, we made reservations instead of a grocery list.

My middle son, Charlie, is my child who thoroughly enjoys food. When I told the children we were going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner, he was the only one who balked. “What if they put the gravy on the mashed potatoes instead of on the side?” he asked. “What if they don’t put mini marshmallows on the sweet potatoes?” “I will make you sweet potato casserole this weekend if it’s not the way you like it,” I promised him. He nodded silently, accepting this offer warily.

For the past week, every time I remembered that Thanksgiving was fast approaching, I felt a little pang of panic before I remembered that I didn’t have to cook. Tomorrow, we will wake up slowly. We’ll get dressed late in the morning and head out at midday, and we’ll be home in time for the Cowboys game in the afternoon. My husband bought root beers for the boys to drink while they watch the game with him. I’ll wear pajamas the rest of the weekend, as I am more of a Cyber Monday girl than I am a Black Friday maven. We will have no leftovers, but that’s okay. We’ll have unfettered time. That’s a tradition I would love to create.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. Happy Thanksgiving to you, however you spend it.

 

 

4 Replies to “Taking back the holiday”

  1. We went out today too, and our day was almost identical to that… parade in the morning, PJ’s until we absolutely had to change, a fantastic meal out and then back to PJ’s! It was so relaxing and stressfree!! As for memories, growing up, we usually spent Thanksgiving in Santa Fe, NM. We didn’t always stay at the same place or eat Thanksgiving dinner at the same place, but my Thanksgiving memories are still very strong of that time with family. Don’t stress about the exact same meal year after year. If you make it a lovely day to remember (out or in), your kids will still grow up with special memories of Thanksgiving!

    1. You’re right — as is everyone who commented both here and on Facebook. The kids really enjoyed the buffet (who doesn’t enjoy a buffet?!) and we had a great outing. I think I might want this tradition every year. 😉

  2. We decided to go to a restaurant last year for much the same reasons you listed. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a disaster. This year, we cooked at home, my sister and her family were with us (they are visiting from Germany) and spent the weekend in no hurry and decorating for Christmas. It’s been beautiful and I hate for it too end. And by the way, those caramel apples look delicious.

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